personal
I never do this.
Well, that’s a lie. But I haven’t written a public note in a while. Last time I did, it was probably one of those stupid surveys that everyone used to fill out when they had nothing else to do.
Yes, my favorite color is still blue. and no, I’m not currently drinking anything.
Anyway. There’s just a lot happening at once out here in LA. Being a grown up is hard.
It doesn’t help that memories from the past are still affecting me today. It’s frustrating. It’s like I’m being haunted by consistant heartbreak, but none of it compares to the Devastation of 2010.
I honestly have never fallen for someone so fast, or so hard. I’m pretty sure it was the same way on the other end too. Things were wonderful for a while, and then something happened. I don’t even know what changed, but it did. Obviously, the relationship was important to me because 2 years later I’m still upset about it. It’s even harder because he’s just moved on like I never even existed. Like I was never the first girl he ever brought home to his family, or the first girl he’s ever loved. It’s like none of it even mattered.
When it ended, I asked him if he thought we could ever be together again, and he said maybe, but it would have to be years later. Sadly, there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t hope that that’s the day he comes back into my life. That he realizes what he lost, and how we complimented each other. I mean, yeah, we had our fights, but what couple doesn’t? If you don’t fight, then someone’s not being honest.
I just feel like I’m screaming at the top of my lungs in a crowded room, and no one even notices.
I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. I guess writing just helps me process what’s going on a little better. It still doesn’t help with that empty spot in my chest with his name permanently engraved on it.
